The stories that we attach to and define ourselves with, can be detrimental to our well-being and success. Many people have gotten caught in a loop of drama, chaos, and suffering because they keep attaching to and retelling their story. There are people I have met who keep telling their old story of themselves, even if it was pitiful, sad, or full of tragedy. Perhaps their ego thrives on the attention, or the pity, or even likes the excitement of drama or conflict.
This is not to say you should never share your life’s experiences with others. That is healthy, that is fine. It is the attachment, ego identification, and defining your present moment with the realities of your past – over and over again, that I am saying is a dis-empowering way to live your life.
People addicted to their story will tell you their story repeatedly… they will tell everyone their story because that story defines them, it makes them, it is their headline statement telling the world who they are. The story feeds a hungry part of them – typically insecurity. They allow their story to be who they are and stay hiding in a pattern of attracting attention through the tragedies and dramas of their past.
Although the past does influence us and helps to shape who we are; it must not define us if we seek to be free, and ever authentically progressing. We can learn and heal from the events of our past, yet the goal is to move past the past into the future we are creating now. Regardless if you suffered abuse, trauma, loss, sickness, or other hardships, the key is to seek healing, understanding, compassion, and growth. If we were victimized, we still have the choice to heal that part of our life, release it, and steer clear from defining ourselves as a victim.
We can keep the memories of the past, we can keep the lessons, and the details of the stories; we can even retell the stories to teach lessons and help others, yet we need not be weighted down to the feelings and emotions of the past. We need not be suspended in time, unable to move forward due to the tentacles of attachment we formed when we allowed our stories to define us.
How do we quit? How do we change our story?
Ultimately our story must always be changing.
To stop being attached to our past and addicted to our stories we create practices of stillness and mindfulness. An awareness of your thoughts, feelings, motives, intentions, insecurities, fears, and so on, will help you in knowing yourself better and becoming aware of any ways that you have been retelling stories to feed your ego or calm your insecurities. Emotional healing, forgiveness, and radical self-responsibility are crucial for this process. We must do the work of healing the painful parts of ourselves if we truly wish to rise above the stories of the past and fly forwards into a new chapter of our lives … into a new story.
When I say radical self-responsibility I am referring to the work of not blaming others for our problems, as well as seeking the deeper meaning of the experiences of our lives, and of our feelings about these experiences. It means digging a bit into your psyche, studying the chapters of your life, seeking the lessons and the patterns, and the truth of who you really are. It also means making the choice to change and heal what is needed when you recognize the need.
Transform your Perceptions
As we do this work and transform our perceptions and our actions, we open ourselves to limitless possibilities. When a person is stuck in their story they are cut off from limitless possibilities. They are attached to one set of possibilities – as defined by their story.
Be free. Cut the cords of attachment and learn to tell a story that empowers you, that brings blessings to your life, and that allows you to create the life of your dreams. You are that powerful.